Why Being Authentic is HARD!!!!

June 12, 2024

So we all judge.  If you work in corporate they call it unconscious bias.  I call it, manifesting your own insecurities.  Judgment comes from a place where we feel like, even if we don’t know it.  Take for example, the “controversy” around the 2024 Miss Alabama.  She is a plus-size girly.  YES SHE IS.  And really SO WHAT?   But Social media is LOOSING THEIR SH*T over it.   The truth is, that this amazing woman, beautiful inside and out, winning a beauty contest is bringing out the worst in people.  It’s not that there is something wrong with her.  It’s that there is something wrong with us and our self-love.  Hear me out on this.

  • It’s not that she is plus size, its that we did not think ourselves beautiful enough to enter a beauty contest.  This woman is brave, strong and beautiful.  The judges agree.  They picked her.  So really, its not about her, its about our perception of ourselves and whether or not we feel worthy enough.  The whole Why her and not me” is the fear manifesting into judgement.
  • It’s not that she was selected because there is a body positivity movement.  That is a straight up cop-out……..She worked just as hard as the other women that participated in the contest. She was not playing the “fat” card.  To the contrary- she’s probably had to endure all the judgement (aka other people’s insecurities and discomforts with themselves) her whole freaking life.  All she did was be her authentic self.  AND WON.
  • It’s not “How dare she!!” it’s “why don’t I dare to?” that is the real question here.  This amazing human just showed all of us that we can be and do whatever we want and that we can be ourselves doing it.  And what are people doing?  Projecting their own insecurities on her. 

I have a friend that has had to deal with this her whole career.  Woman, Strong, Powerful, and Smart.  That’s what she is.  What people have told her is that she only gets the promotions and growth in her career because she is, Woman, Hispanic, Willing to Move, a Diversity Candidate.  And yet- she is still authentic.  If you asked her why she would tell you that she feels sorry for the people that judge her (queue in “how dare she!!”) because really they are just upset they have not taken the risks she has and succeeded. 

It’s hard to be authentic because we worry about the judgement of others.  But now that you know that judgement is only a reflection of other’s insecurities, all of a sudden, being authentic is the only thing you can be because that judgement you feared is not about you.  Now flip that, when you get judgy (and we all do it), look inside.  What insecurity is creeping up for you?  And work on that.

In the meantime, lets celebrate Miss Alabama for kicking ass and not giving a Sh*t about other people’s opinions. 

Want to learn more about being body positive? Check this blog out: Why is Social Media Comparison Toxic

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