We have all heard about filling your cup first before you can serve or help others. The same with the oxygen mask on a plane, you have to put yours on first. But we don’t do the same when it comes to our wellbeing, our confidence, our strength. As women, we are told that self-love, or putting ourselves first, is selfish, egotistical, and not very lady-like. Well, let me tell you, they are wrong.
I recently had a fabulous client that was super shy, and had not put herself first in a very long time. She could not look up when getting her hair and makeup done. She was shy, sure, but she also felt unworthy. Never mind that her husband thought her so worthy that he bought her the session and wanted her to have an empowering experience. She did not feel that way. That’s until we started taking pictures and she was able to see herself, as she truly is. Beautiful, strong, amazing, and like a freaking cover model.
This is what I think happens to some (maybe all) of us: As women, we are taught to take care of our families, our friends, our community. We can have a voice but it can’t be too loud or too much and it must be used in support of others, not necessarily advocating for ourselves. Well, that’s what I call the selfless collar. It’s a type of bondage that is not the fun kind. It’s the type that locks us down and does not let us thrive because we are too tired physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If you take off the collar you would still be considered a bit of a rebel, even in the 21st century, AFTER the suffragettes, women’s movement, and feminism.
So what happens if you color outside the lines, maybe even if it’s just for an empowerment session? The truth is, what happens is what you want and let happen. It’s your life, your self-esteem, your growth as a woman. This experience can be transformative……..if you let it. And it’s not just with empowerment sessions. It’s when you speak up for yourself. When you stop hiding because you are worried about what others might think. When you glow and grow in your own light, with your own power, and put yourself in a position that inspires other women.
Sure, you might think that your small actions or moments are not seen. I promise you they are. Maybe we are not in the room with you when you finally tell your boss that you are not taking another assignment without first having a conversation about your compensation. BUT we are there when you walk out of that room with some amazing energy and glowing from your self-pride. The same thing happens after an empowerment session. You literally GLOW WITH POWER because you have rediscovered yourself.
So, take a moment, find a little spark to light your flame, and get to glowing. Break free from the selfless collar and be a little selfish. Put yourself first and give yourself both the grace and love to do the self-care thing. Don’t do it AFTER you have taken care of everything else. Do it first. You are worth being at the top of your own list.
Want to learn more about being body positive? Check this blog out: Why is Social Media Comparison Toxic
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